We're all just fake

Well its kind of been a while but theres not a whole lot to blabber about, although I'm sure I could find something. Actually today I was going on about guys. Nothing you do is ever good enough. I mean think about it..."If you dress nicely he thinks you're a snob. If you dress sexy he thinks you're a slut. If you argue with him he thinks you're stubborn. If you're quiet he thinks you don't care. if you call he thinks you're needy and clingy. If he calls you he thinks you should be great full. If you don't love him he'll try to win you over. If you do love him, he'll leave you. If you don't fuck him he'll say you're a tease, if you do he'll say you're easy. If you tell him your problems he'll say you're irritating. If you don't he'll say you don't trust him. If you lecture him he'll say you're bitchy, if he lectures you its only because he "cares." If you break a promise you can't be trusted, if he breaks it he had too. If you cheat, he'll expect it to be over. if he does he expects to be given another chance." Isn't the truth? Their all the same, every single last one of them. Even if they start to show they might be different you'll find something that you always get in every relationship and its just something we're attracted to in one person that we always find. Its like a placebo that we always find but we like it yet we hate it so why do we always go back? I don't understand it as much as the next person but I've started to believe that maybe love just doesn't exist. You can't find something steady enough to keep you going. I can't, I can't find something long enough to make it last.

All they do is hurt you. But who's fault is that? Is it ours or theirs? Do we let them or do we just tell ourselves they did it on their own? We pretty much give ourselves away, we put ourselves out there to be hurt hoping we wont but you know what? I've gotten to the point now where I don't have any hope left. I don't get mad, I get even and if someone is going to be a total asshole let them don't show your weak side by trying to get them to talk to you you'll never win either way so what do you have to lose? I've just quit trying I make too much effort and no one makes enough so until then I don't want to be with anyone. Its just a waste a time of worrying for nothing and being upset for being ignored most of the time. Cause you know if you ignore them for more than a minute they have a fit but you leave and its like the end of the world. Relationships just over rated. I don't understand how anyone can last in them, guys are just self-centered bastards. I just can't handle it anymore it isn't worth it. I mean what really is worth it in the end? We're all gonna die and we did things for what reason? none...

Okay heres rant number two. I hate people. I really do, their so freaking dumb. Honestly, if you care more about fucking taxes than saving someones life or curing them...than you deserve to just fucking die. Obviously no one wants taxes raised but think about it, if you have a mother, father, brother, sister, best friend, aunt, boyfriend, girlfriend, uncle, niece, nephew, daughter, son anyone that is born with a disease or is later diagnosed with them would you just want to sit there and watch them die? or would you rather be for something that is going to help everyone in the long run. I don't understand how everyone can be so self-centered. If something is going to help cure a disease and prevent people from dying don't you think thats better? than worrying about your fucking taxes and your stupid money.

Its so dumb...I can't stand the usa anymore. I hate to say it but I really can't. Theres never going to be anything close to peace and people who think there is are just as dumb as fuck. seriously...you really think there is going to be "world peace" yea fucking right in your own dreams. There are billions bazillions ya know of people on the planet there is no way in hell you can please everyone not a chance so I don't get how people can have such high hopes for it, and please your God is not going to do anything. How can something made up, or something that doesn't make sense or something thats just a placebo be real? a placebo is a substance having no pharmacological effect but given merely to satisfy someone who supposes it to be a medicine or to give you some kind of hope. Like praying, its to give you hope that theres something there thats listening that is going to help you in your life, something you should live by when its common sense if you have it. Thou shall not kill, no shit? really? or whatever else. If we weren't suppose to "wait" to have sex until marriage than why do so many people do it ya know? or I don't know. I've just gotten to the lowest point in my life where I can't rely on anything or anyone at one point its going to let you down.

I can't wrack my brain anymore. I'm too tired and just extremely mad, everything is upsetting me and everyone. I've just had it, to a point I don't enjoy anything anymore and I don't even want to go out. But whatever, I'm going to sleep soon because I'm waiting for something thats not going to happen. so whatever. Goodnight.

♥