i can't spell these words out clearly enough

Its funny what you realize when you talk in depth with someone. Its hard to find someone that will and can go that deep with you so when you do you find yourself at new levels, or so I find myself at. It started with a hug, when you hug someone its like your letting them take your everything and being vulnerable. It's like you're opening yourself up for them to get a hold of which ultimately puts you at their command. So, why hug someone when your heart is right there in the open just asking to be ripped out...it gives you a new thought to who you let in there and if their really worth it or not. To me, a hug is more than just wrapping your arms around me but, giving you that power to break me, to put me in the ground, but trusting and hoping that you won't. We complain its "yours to keep break or bury or wear as jewelry" so, why have it so open, why don't you protect it and give it someone worth letting them shatter. A hug to you is probably just an affection and of feeling better but to me its like opening a door I am never ready for. Will I ever be ready for that again? to let someone else have access to a world you will never understand. You'll never begin to understand where it comes from, to you its just a form of something that you couldn't fathom...