I keep sitting here trying to think of where it all went wrong. Where I lost my mind. Trying to think back to what happened to make me like this, this emotional wreck, this angry, upset, hurting, good for nothing, useless, terrible person, friend...what made me lose my everything? what made it where no one wants anything to do with me or talk to me or whatever...to make it where i am completely alone, that i now have no one. everyone has moved on and found better things. why don't you need me anymore? why don't you want me around? i get nothing but a big knife in my back and pushed off a cliff to survive on my own. thank you...
I see where this all went wrong now...its when I put my barriers down and started to trust one too many people and now its invading my mind and now that I let you in, you fucking leave me. Now everyone is too busy for me, how great is that? thank you for not understanding, thank you for not caring...cause i don't anymore. I can't, I trusted you I trusted too many people, hence why i always have my guard up. Its going back up, to stay now. so don't ask me whats wrong, when you already know don't ask me what my deal is because i don't have one...you do. i'm done trying, i'm done caring i'm done being a "great" friend.
I don't know where to go, what to do and no one to talk too so this is my way of talking to myself? but getting it out there...so don't trash it cause you don't feel the way i do and you sure as hell won't understand.
thats all. i'm hurt...but i can't tell you that because you'll get mad and not understand how you hurt me. =/
♥
2 comments:
don't know if you are merely venting and may feel differently in significant portions of your REAL life or if these posts truly depict your primary experience...either way, i can relate to much of what you say. pain sucks. but it beats the alternative which is staying numb or being dead.
these post are all truly are from primary experience and how i feel...i write these from the top of my head or the back wherever it comes out of. honestly, most of the time i don't think it beats the alternative i'd rather stay numb.
but, thanks for your input, even though i dk who you are lol..
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