Too much pain.

I don't know where to begin, but lately everything is getting to me. My family has got to be one of my biggest problems they don't understand and never will no matter how hard they try they won't just like no matter what i do or how hard i do try nothing will ever be good enough for them. Its always, oh you have such a bad attitude, your rude, your spoiled blah blah blah you need to get a job you need to go to school, you need to get your act together, your stupid, you live and learn, you don't apply yourself, you don't try, your lazy...blah blah blah. yea i hear that from my wonderful family non-stop. I am so sick of, it gets SO old. I know to live and learn, what do you think I'm doing? I've learned a lot, actually. I've learned to just keep my mouth shut, no ones going to listen anyway and no one really gives a shit, either. You can act all you want but I'd rather just sit in the corner by myself. I've learned that its better to just keep things to myself because others don't want to hear about it and their not going to understand it even if it was as simple as two plus two, oh if only.
You'll never understand how I feel, you'll never understand how I think or why I think this way, you'll never catch a glimpse of me looking in your eyes, I fear far too much to be able to let myself trust anyone.
whatever i don't know what else to write, and will finish this later? goodnight.